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Old Testament -> Ezekiel

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
Ezekiel 23:20

Ezekiel for Skeptics

For pure filthiness, you just can’t beat Ezekiel. Donkey-sized penises, women plucking off their breasts, baking bread with human dung, or getting drunk on human blood—you won’t find stuff like that anywhere else.

Here are the highlights.

  Ezekiel sees God’s loins. 1:27, 8:2

  Ezekiel, at God’s command, eats a book that tastes as sweet as honey. 2:9 - 3:3

  If a good person does something wrong after God “lays a stumbling block before him,” then God will kill him. “He shall die in his sin” and whatever good he has done will be forgotten. 3:20

  God tells Ezekiel to eat barley cakes that are made with the “dung that cometh out of man.” 4:12

  God tells Ezekiel to shave his head and beard, divide the cut hair into thirds, burn one portion, smite the second with a knife, and scatter the third in the wind. 5:1-3

  God will cause fathers to eat their sons and sons to eat their fathers. 5:10

  God plans to kill everyone with plagues, famines, and wars. But if any still survive, then he’ll send beasts to devour them. 5:17

  God plans to decorate the land with human bones and dead bodies. 6:5

  God marks the foreheads of the men who will be saved. To God only men are worth keeping. All of the women and unmarked men are to be slaughtered. God will “fill the courts with the slain” and will have pity on no one. 9:4

  God dislikes women and pillows. He says, “Woe to the women that sew pillows ... behold, I am against your pillows.” 13:15-20

  God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies. 14:9

  Big penises. 16:26

  Good men stay away from menstruating women. 18:6

  God gave the Israelites “statutes that were not good and judgments whereby they should not live.” He “polluted” them so that later he’d have an excuse to kill them. 20:25

  A tale of two sisters. 23:1-46

Really big penises. 23:20

  God gets all excited about cooking human flesh and “scum.” 24:3-10

  God kills Ezekiel’s wife and tells him not to mourn her. 24:15-18

  God makes “all their loins to be at a stand” and then cuts them off. 29:7-8

  God shows Ezekiel how to join together dead peoples bones and then bring them back to life. 37:7-10

  God will cause every man’s sword to be against his brother. By doing so he will magnify and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he’s the Lord. 38:21-23

  God is preparing a feast for the birds and beasts. He’s going to have them eat human flesh until they’re full and drink human blood until they’re drunk. 39:4, 17-20

There are 48 articles in "Old Testament -> Ezekiel"